bye 2010.

greetings earthlings.

this will be my last post for 2010.

it's nearly 8am, 31st Dec 2010.

and i'm still not asleep yet.

my heart fluttered when he buzzed me on YM diz morning.

and my thoughts kept on focusing on one thing dz few days,that's you.

yes you.

i hate you for making us becoming like this.

i hate you who makes me fall for you.

lets forget each other,shall we?

2010 is everything.

seriously everything.

i met someone who is very dear to my heart.-d one who listen to me when i cursed n scream n cry n even forced me to laugh when i'm having my period pain n done everything just to make me eat my meds n make sure i have my meals everyday.

i fall out of love at d most crucial time of my life.-first day of final exam of my final semester.

i nearly lost myself.-i seriously do lost a whole part of me when i lose him.

i have to decide between people that i love most.

i'm proudly labeled as a graduate from UKM.-completed my 1st degree.ofcz not in law.but someday,i will take law maybe as my 2nd degree.who knows? :)

met LESTARIans.-diam2 ku jatuh hati padamu.

went through PTD exam.-it was like dream come true.hey,it is!am one of d thousands out of millions who applied for it. :)

offered to pursue my masters in Strategic Studies.

i passed my PTD exam!-hell yeah.u'd done a good job belle.

what else?

met true friends.

met double faced people.

met users.

met disbeliever.

met every different kind of peeps throughout d year.

thanx guys.

you of all people in the world really make me who i am today. :)

for me it was a very true god-damn-super-great-fucked-up-most-complicated-worse-year out of my 22 years of life.

lets pray for a more contented 2011.

cz i've been contently unhappy in 2010.

question asked,"what's d new year's resolution?"

eff u.

if u have one but did u really achieve it all?

be consistent people.

re-evaluate urself n ur life each day.

do some reality check will ya'?

dont go n list down i wanna do dz,i wanna do dat n all other eff-ing stuffs.

but by d end of d year,u fret bout not being able to achieve all those eff-ing things on ur so called "new year's resolutions".

again,eff u.

people,

lets forgive but never forget.

lets know each other well.

lets mind our own business.

lets focus on our own aim.

lets change towards a better person.

lets change the typical mindset.

lets have a 1st class level of mind.

lets stop being busybody.

lets stop being too over-confident.

lets be happy.

lets go for the things that we want using our own way.

lets not ruin other people's life.

lets do everything that makes us a true human being.

till then peeps.

have a great new year's eve.

have a blessed relationship with whomever u want.

live peacefully.

Dear life, I exceeded the acceptable limit of stress & unhappiness this year. I'd like to be reimbursed in the form of a happier, more contented 2011. Thank you.

With love,

Nabilah Ab Jalal.

dream.

mimpi.
mimpi je belle.
plz dont cry :(

kenapa Tuhan duga sampai camni sekali?
dah cukup kuat aku tabah tekad nak lupakan dia.
dah cukup kuat halang jari klik page fb dia.
dah cukup kuat untuk tidak text dia. *oke,tipu*
dah cukup kuat untuk tak menangis bila tringat senyuman tu..
adehh~ :'(

Tolong Tuhan,aku sdg cuba nak bina masa depan.
yang memang berombak.
yang memang berliku2 cabang berduri segala bagai walau ada arah tuju.
tapi aku taw aku boleh buat.
sebab tu impian aku.
tapi mimpi itu,menggugat perasaan.
*sigh*

baru minggu lepas aku declare yang aku dah move on.
kenapa ada mimpi sebegitu lagi??
kali ni lagi hebat.
cukup hebat dari yang sebelum2 ni.

dia buat segala benda yang tak pernah die buat.
(bagi adiah,layan mcm princess,spend time lama gler.etc2)
*buat aku rasa taknak bangun tido.buat aku rasa macam nak jadikan mimpi tu realiti.tapi bukan kuasa aku kan??*
but hey,napa tak dulu?
zaman aku bercinta bertepuk sebelah tangan dulu?
aku jadikan dia lah segalanya.
priority.
turun ego aku yang tinggi melangit.
takde sape boleh buat aku gembira melainkan msg dia.
even hanya seketul je.
kannn? :')

tolong Tuhan.
tunjuk jalan yang benar kat dia dan aku.
aku dah tak sanggup menangis. :(

everytime a memory of you came through my mind,my heart waver.i stopped and wished i could flashback time.my heart really do skipped a beat when i saw a ghost of u.that smile that makes me go crazy screaming.that person dat really do make me wait.why now?why dz happens when i didnt even can get hold of u? :'(

mode: wavered.

p/s: he told me dz is wut happen when u love someone too much (at dat time he's referring to himself who hve trouble dealing with his ex).dear S,i told u,u created another you.that's ME. :'(

value.

spotless.

ignore dat big ass of mine.

photo above was taken today in Subang Parade's Voir's fitting room.

was trying few pairs of black pants.

end up buying d on i'm wearing in d photo. :)

today(monday) i went back to bangi.

for another 2 more years peeps!

aigo0o0o~

tomorrow(tuesday) will be d frst day of my masters clz.

i'm a bit late.

registered for Dec intake.

so i'll be catching up d missed sem next july 2011.

it'll be super hectic peeps.

T_T'

i finished cleaning my room for dz semester.
i got a single room.
means,no roomates!
*boringgg*

it's ok.
cz i dont think a roomate will bear with my craziness n hectic life after dz.
i'll take my own risk.
for not being crazy in a room alone.

my whole body is aching.
d room was super dusty n sticky n all.
eeeeuuuwwww!

i even wipe d floor with my hands using dirt-cloth.
with lots of soap n warm water.
three times!
blurghh~

after all those messy spider webs,sticky floor,dirty windows etc2.
i soaked my feet in warm water with Montagne Jennesse Bain de Pieds *yes.i can speak french*
it's really soothing.
i hope i can sleep tight tonight.(err,it's already 0218am belle?)

til then.
i give u what it's like to stay in college ok?
miss ya'!
*to whom it may concern*

lots more of foods behind d peanut butter. ^^

messy table.

i tried to bring less clothes.so this is what i managed.

missing my fat teddy.i'll bring u after new year ok baby? :'(

can u believe dz is d only shoes i brought for my semester here?

plz do.dz is all i really brought to bangi. XD

mode: aching.

p/s: i love you. :)

sound.

*source-tumblr.*

i like d way he pronounce it :')

ohh!

and did i tell u dat ur voice is my favourite sound?

it's a lullaby to me (^_^)v

mode: fly.

p/s: i wished i had wings.so i can fly to u. :(

secrets.

mungkinkah?

Seperti ada yang tak kena

Di saat melihat ke arahmu

Saat kau berpaling dan tersenyum

Dunia jadi luar biasa

Maafkan andainya ku menggangu

Ku bukan membaca fikiranmu

Ku hanya ingin Mengenalimu

Dan tahu ku Menyukai kamu

Mungkinkah ku teman biasa

Seawalnya kita berjumpa

Mungkinkah kau tidak perasan

Perbezaannya

Mungkin bila tiba saatnya

Kita akan tetap bersama

Mungkin kita kan jatuh cinta

Mungkinkah

Mungkinkah..kita akan bersama..~

lompat2.

yeay!!
yesterday's tears has been wiped away.
thanx mak for dat call!
i was so low, i ran away from home.
didnt even text mak telling her i will not be back home yesterday.
sorry.

yet today she told me 2 good news.
i got MARA loan for my masters.
Alhamdulillah.
i wont burden my parents anymore ayte? :)

2nd news is i passed my PTD exam.
first stage though.
long way to go~
but still,i did it!!! :)

it is everything i ever dream of.
except for working for the United Nations and becoming a lawyer.
so,work hard belle!
ur mak's angel.
i'm an extra-ordinary girl she said.
i can do everything dat i want.

mode: smiling.

p/s: mak said i have loads of things to think n take care about dz coming new year.pray so i can manage aye? :)

ok,saya gemok.so obvious.

tears.

done with postgrad registration.
but i'm feeling so low.

can i cry?
one news at a friend's blog makes me feel dissapointed.
can i cry plz?
ohh nvmd.
i cried already. :'(

mybe God have betters plans for me ahead.. :(

mode: low.

p/s: dunno wut else to hold on to anymore. :'(

hushhh! :)

Wajah yang tampan

Sungguh menawan

Dan juga kaya ku suka dia

Tapanya kaya sungguh sederhana

Baik budinya juga bahasanya

Saat kau menghampiri diri ku

Ku ingin engkau tahu

Sebenarnya aku diam-diam

Aku jatuh hati pada mu

Ku ingin tahu diam-diam

Aku jatuh hati pada mu

Ku ingin kau tahu

mode: ignoring.

p/s: cant i just run away?? :(

let ME be.

"Never expect, never assume, never ask and never demand. Just let it be. Because if it's meant to be, it will happen just the way you want things to be"

final countdown.

final countdown.
few more days to finish this RA work.
ohh,good lord.
at last!

21st dec i'll register as a postgraduate student.
rm2000 need to be paid before i can register.
*dead*

work+study.
ohh,i'll be super-busy i guess.
lets be single peeps! :)

ohh!
fingers-crossed!
my PTD exam result will be out by 24th dec.
gosh!

so lets go with d flow~ :)

mode: preparing.

p/s: what's wrong with my heart?

am done with narnia n rapunzel.

thx to sis hidcham for narnia.
w/pn demam sanggup ke mid tgok narnia.
hehe

it was great!
so many temptations.
but still,they made it.

ohh,Prince Caspian is so hot.
*melts*

as for rapunzel.
it's my 3rd attempt to watch d movie.
at last i made it!
d movie was superb and funny and cute and all.
but my mood were ruined.
so i didnt even laugh nor smile.

thx for you who broke my heart all way long.
thx for not keeping ur promises.

so what's next?
for sure i wont go to KLIM.
as promised.
but wut to do.
my mood were ruined.
there's no joy in there aye?

mode: upside-down.

p/s: he texted me!awwww~ ;D

well said.

sabah 2 singapore.

hey peeps!
i'm so fat now that i will hate myself whenever i think about food.
urgghh!

when my mom noticed that i'm fat.
i feel sad.
she even said dat i cant have a BF cz i'm fat.
*like i care*

i just came back from Sabah last sunday.
it's a 4 days vacation with my lil sis n mom.
it's great even though tiring.

u can see d photos at my fb acc. :)

where to after dz?
SINGAPORE!!!!!!
weeee~ ;D

singapore for new year?
yes!
it'll be a great start for my 23rd year of my life.

jommm peeps.
lets hve funnnn!!! ;D

my messed up 2010 is nearly to its end.
EVERYTHING happened in one whole damn freaking year.
yes,i do mean everything.
aishhh~

final year as a degree student.
fall out of love.
been stupidly cheated.
graduated.
pretend to be in love.
work.
final end of 2010 is my admission for masters.

yeah,my masters will start after Xmas.
but y dont i feel excited?
ouh God plz..
that was d one thing u ever wanted.
even since before u graduated degree belle.
be happy plz?

today is a public holiday n am staying home.
weird naa?
hahaha

that's me since early 2010.
i have bF but he's never available when it's holiday.
when we broke up,i REFUSED to go out.
when i try to go out,got crossed.
so i like to be alone nowadays.

wait,there's this one guy.
omg he's cute!
but he's so serious i cant joke around as usual cz i'm crazy when with him.
i'm afraid he'll get bored of my ever-after-loads-of-questions-asking habit.
but still,he makes me smile.. :)

okay2,enough of dreaming u can ever have him.
he's d type that it took pages to tell how gorgeous he is.
awww~
*blush*

bye peeps.
i adore u.
thx for reading.

mode: fever

p/s: perangai lama.aishh~

update.

saya mahu ke KLIM at PWTC.

saya mahu tengok Rapunzel.

saya mahu tengok Narnia.

sekian.

MAHA 2010.

dz place was so hot.
i feel like i was put in an oven.
damn!

it was so hot dat i cant even open my eyes wide.
stupid shade.
i cant find one dat suits me.
anyone can suggest me a nice n elegant one?
dat suits me with my scarfs n all.
huhuhu

or maybe i should wait for Singapore?
hehehe.. :)

or should i wait my bro to come back here from US next July?
ouh,he's so cruel.
he shopped for himself loads of things.
but not even one for me! :(

today for d first time i wear diff type of shawl+inner.
plus a headband.
thanx to wanie :)

OMG!
i do feel awkward.
i do looked weird too.
but they said that it suits me.
hmmm~

okay,i'll give u peeps a chance.
laugh out loud ok?

mode: tired.

p/s: i cant wait for Sabah!!!! :)

award.

1. Berikan satu nickname untuk pemberi award:

berry min *her own nick* ;D

2. Ucapan untuk pemberi award:

thanks babe. i miss u! 

3. Berikan nama 6 artis yang korunk minat: 

David Archuletta

Black Eyed Peas

Beyonce

Avril Lavigne

Linkin Park

Christina Aguilera

4. Beri award ini kepada 10 blogger atau follower:

akma

fatin zahura

ain raus

zett ozleen

yaty

asmalina

syamil

qimah

hidcham

act like a lady think like a man.

yeay!!!!
i finally bought my own copy of dz book!

editorail review.

As a popular comedian, radio host and red-blooded male, Harvey doesn't have the bona fides typical to most women's relationship self-help, but he still manages a thorough, witty guide to the modern man. Harvey undertakes the tast because "Women are clueless about men," because "Men get away with a whole lot of stuff" and because he has "some valuable information to change all of that." Harvey makes a game effort, taking a bold but familiar men-are-dogs approach: if you're "cutting back" on sex, "he will have another woman lined up and waiting to give him what he needs and wants--the cookie." Several chapters later, however, he introduces the "ninety-day rule," asserting that, actually, he won't always have another woman lined up--and the only way to makes sure is a three-month vetting period. Harvey also tackles mama's boys, "independent--and lonely--women," and the matter of children in the dating world ("If he's meeting the kids after you decide he's the one, it's too late"). Feminists and the easily offended probably won't take to Harvey's blanket statements and blunt advice, but Harvey's fans and those in need of tough (but ticklish) love advice should check it out (especially the hysterical last-chapter Q&A).

ok,what's d point of me reading dz when men are all relatively stupid?
duhh??!~

it is like d other book.

 

yeah,diz book..

 

and diz book too..

men are too complicated even when there are some psycho trying to learn bout em..
yet still,they act differently.

yes ladies,not all men reflects "the" guy in ur typical-childhood-romance-love-novel.
so,GROW UP!

ouh,it's also like the movie "The Ugly Truth".
yeah,with that super-heart throbber-nice accent-gorgeous eyes Gerard Butler.
OMG!OMG!OMG!

 

pheewiittt!! *melts*

why do we sacrifice?

why do we love?

why do we get hurt?

why do we get cheated?

ouh,c'mon guys..
if u really dont know what u want..
dont get involve!
i hate ur guts to even dare to do that.
not to mention ur sweet words that end up were all such lyrical lies.
yes,this was when such a BRILLIANT BULLSHIT appears.
u and ur smile,and ur lies and ur guts and all those promises u forced me to make.

ouh,i hate you.
i hate having the thought of you.

mode: getting over you.

p/s: "the only thing that can stop time is a picture." *luckily i dont hve any pic with u.*

strange.

sitting at home,

everything is fine,

as the days pass by..

one by one,

some long, some slow;

I talk to myself quiet and low,

elegies of my heart and soul…

a shiver, a sigh,

soft words whispered in the dark,

my senses are mixed already,

unable to differentiate

between a sound or a smell or a touch or a taste..

I keep dreaming of a time,

my fingers intertwined

with you,

an everlasting joy of time,

heart skipping a beat here and there..

as I sit here

thinking sweet thoughts of you

lustful images make my heart

palpitate uncontrollably;

trembling uncontrollably

the heat continues to rise..

as I close my eyes and see

you standing before me;

I open up my eyes to find

that you are nowhere around..

I feel a wave of sadness

crash upon the shores of my heart..

As I lie here obsessed with the thought of you,

hoping it will all be over soon and,

waiting patiently for the day

when I can hold you in my arms

and never have to let you go again,

I realize love is a strange thing indeed.. 

my day.

yesterday was d worst day ever.
bencii!!!!!

marah sangat sampai pegi jogging 2jam!
but,tak kurus jugak.
bodoh punya lemak.
huhu :(

so today bajet nak happy kan diri.
pagi2 celik mata tgok cter jepun.
but still,am feeling so fucked up.

then my dearest driver sugar-fish called.
"morning babe.breakfast jum"
"alaa..i malas mandi.."
"tak keja ke?"
"tak.malas.xde mood."
"jum la teman i gi klinik."
"ok gak.i pun demam gak ni."

pas tu,beliau bawak saya ke Baskin Robbin.
ala,yang jual ice cream tu..
takkan xtaw?
*dengg!*

bajet2 boleh ok kan mood aku la?
"belle,makan ice cream kesukaan pun tak gembira lagi?"
TIDAKKKKK!!!!!

bodoh la sapa yang wat mood aku tak baik.
tak suka taw!

plus PMS,my mood is totally so damn ruined.
and i think it will last til d end of d week.
*waargghhh!!!*

blurgghh!
i hate diz.
i hate when my mood is ruined.

i cursed everything.
i dont eat.
i cried easily.
everyone annoys me.

mode: moody.

Approach with extra caution.

mr.S..~

Sometimes we fight

Sometimes I cry

Why dont I just tell him goodbye

Sometimes I should but

Sometimes I dont

Build up the strength to say that its wrong

Sometimes I hate sometimes I love

Sometimes I hurt sometimes I dont

Sometimes I wait for him to change

But its okay I just got to pay

And I dont ever wanna leave em' alone

They say im brain washed but im in love with this man

Keep tellin myself that its not worth it

I already know I dont deserve it

But if its from you I dont mind hurting

This is my perfect nightmare

So when will I wake up and scream

No way , no way , no way ,no way , no way , no way , no way

But if its from you I dont mind hurting

This is my perfect nightmare 

Sometimes I keep it cool

Sometimes I let 'em know

Sometimes I even pack my bags to walk out the door

Sometimes I feel safe

Sometimes I really dont

Sometimes I promise that im ready to let 'em go

but I dont ever wanna leave 'em alone

They say im brain washed but im in love with this man

Keep tellin myself that its not worth it

I already know I dont deserve it

But if its from you I dont mind hurtingt

His is my perfect nightmare

So when will I wake up and scream

Hopin' he's changing but im scared he's not 

cant see a way to leave him 

he open'd my eyes and i..

*this is my song for u.reflecting what i used to feel bout us before.i cant let u go.cz i dont feel dat ur safe on ur own.*

ok belle,why r u so protecting him?

did he ever do dat for u?

stupidhead belle.

again.

ur stupid.

he doesnt even ever love u a bit from d start.
so,move the hell on!

mode: love-locked.


p/s: ouh,you..you you you you make me heartless.

sombong.

weyh,aku memang sombong pun.
kau pehal?

hahaha.
sorry la eh.
aku dah bese orang cakap aku sombong.
so,I DONT FUCKING CARE!!

dz one guy cakap aku sombong,berlagak,jual mahal.
so what?

kalau dah tahu aku sombong..
yang kau duk sibuk mengekor bontot aku lagi pehal?
sibuk call aku lagi nape?
sibuk anta msg bagai2 lagi pe kes?

memang aku sombong.
aku xcakap ngan org yg aku xkenal.
bukan kau bagus sgt pun nak aku layan kau kn?
menyampah la weyh!!

kalau aku sombong,nape kau sibuk nak kawan ngan aku jugak??

blueekk untuk sume orang yg cakap aku sombong!
tak kesah pun.

bagaikan langit.

tagged by zett ozleen.

Just for fun

RULES :  

1. Put your music library on shuffle.  

2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.  

3. You must write that song title as the answer to the question, no matter how silly it sounds! Most of the time they seem to work though, strangely enough.  

4. Ok, go!  

5. When you're done, tag at least 20 people in this note, and make sure to tag the person who sent you this. The answer to #20 is the Title of your note.

1. If someone says, “Is this okay?” you say

im a soul survivor!

 2. How would you describe yourself?

more than words (if u only knew..)

3. What do you like in a guy/girl?

for you,i will~

4. How do you feel today?

crush! (cz d possibility dat u would evr feel d same way lke me it's jst too much..)

5. What is your life’s purpose?

when i grow up~ (i aint complaining go ahead n say wut u wanna say!)

6. What's your motto?

get low~

7. What do your friends think of you?

melompat lebih tinggi! (aku ada kerna kau telah tercipta..)

8. What do you think of your parents?

how much? (it's just how much i love u...)

9. What do you think about very often?

peterpan-mungkin nanti~

10. What is 2 + 2?

yang terindah hanya sementara~

11. What do you think of your best friend(s)?

pins and needles.. (how did i ever let u go..)

12. What do you think of the person you like?

united state of pop.. *mixed y'all! ;p

13. What is your life story?

the rentals-fall into the eve

14. What do you want to be when you grow up?

move,shake,now drop! ;D (i wanna see u move,move,shake,shake now drop..)

15. What do you think of when you see the person you like?

good charlotte-something else (in d end,we all wnt smthng we cant have) :(

16. What will you dance to at your wedding?

beyonce-Diva.. (diva is a female version of a hustler!)

17. What will they play at your funeral?

elyana-kalis rindu (terasing tanpamu..sekuat mana cinta,xmungkin kalis rindu,kalis pilu bila kau tiada)

18. What is your biggest fear?

all american reject-it ends tonight

19. What is your biggest secret?

avril-dont tell me..

20. What will you post this as?

melly-bagaikan langit. (menanti khabar yg ak tggu,peluk dan cium hanya untukku)