akhirnya <3

akhirnya..
smua bnd yg ditunggu2 bertemu kesudahannya..
demam dah kebah..
knekan farah time bday dh tercapai jgk..
hohoho

it's time to focus people.
got 2 presentations+3 essays more.
ouh.
fever,u really drive me crazy..
u make me procrastinate..
urghh~

dunno wut else to say...
ouh wait..
i'm taken.
so no more waiting list.
no more interview forms.
guys,sowie...
(^_^)\/

snapped back to reality!~

mending heart..

wut do u feel when u love sumone??
wut do u feel when dat sumone ignores u?
wut do u feel when ur not important to dat sumone?
wut do feel when u would do anything for dat sumone,but they wouldn't?

why do we say "i love u"?
why does my heart aches?
why does my tears fall when i can't be with u?
why does my heart shattered into pieces when u say sumtin dats not ryte?

do wuteva u want.
but i still want u.

make me cry all nyte long.
in d end,it's u dat i want.

make me scream,cursing like hell.
but it's still u i care bout.

u can ignore me.
but it's still u i'm thinking bout.

say wut u want.
say all those crazy things.
say dat u dun want me anymore.
say dat we cant be together.
say dat i'm not good for u.
say it.
make my heart broken into pieces.
i just don't care.
its still u dat i love.

am i stupid for loving u?
am i stupid waiting for u?
am i crazy being so strong all diz while?

i just cant imagine.
wut else should i do.
to make u love me.
i just don't noe.
wut else should i do.
to make u realize.
it's me dat ur looking for.

if ur afraid of losing me.
dun be.
coz i do love u.
and i cant afford to lose u.

but..
i repeat.
BUT..
if u kept on doing this.
it's not impossible.
for me to leave u.

love me when i'm gone~

demam..

demam.
demam.
demam.
plz,go away...

diz is wut happens if i got sick.
it will be in such a long period of time.
but diz tyme,i do eat my medicines.
but still,no results.
it makes me more worst.
at 1st,no cough,no sore throat.
now,there's cough,sore throat,headache.

god,forgive me for all d sins I'd done.

my parents bebel2.
"nape xbaek demam ag?makan ubat ke x?"
ouh.plz la.
dah makan ubat.
nak wt cmne kalo xok gak.
huhu

my mom is so worried.
coz suddenly i'm craving for nasi dagang.
but she can't find it.
huhu.
*sorry mak.i just wanna eat dat thing.

busyannyer demam.
nak gelak pn xlrat.
kalo pkai mask lg la..
my fwen geram cz xdpt tgk my face expression when she tell sumthing...
hahah..sowie babe~

sorry to all.
kalo korang jangkit saket ngn aku.
i cant help it.
huhuhu

sorry gak kt asgment2 ku.
nnt la ak lyn korg.
siyes xley brpkir skng neyh....

mode:: wanna spend 1 whole day wit my baby...but only god knows when~

broken-hearted~

20 things girls want guys to know:

1. we love when u cuddle with us
2. a kiss on the cheek is a definite yes
3. we want u to put ur arm around us at the movies
4. we don't care if ur d strongest guy in d world
5. size doesn't matter,so don't tell us
6. we don't always look our best,so get over it
7. we shouldn't have to plan everything
8. we're always ready to talk,so call us
9. we're not perfect,so deal with it
10. we love surprises
11. the little things u do,means the most
12. we're not always girly girls
13. we can like boy stuffs too
14. cursing & fighting don't impress us
15. don't be mean to us to get our attention
16. don't tell us who is hot bcoz we don't care
17. we can tell when ur not listening,so listen up!
18. when we say we're cold,that's our invitation to come closer
19. hugs mean more sumtymes
20. we need ur advice sumtymes,so don't afraid to give us
    

rimas!

bye2 to my lil bro.
gone to US already.
mybe 2-4 years more i'll see him..
sob3~
*i want a nice handbag from u qibo!!;p

it's 3am.
i can't sleep.
evn though i swallowed variety kinds of medicines.
damn!
*i want to puke!!

d temp is rising again.
yet i can't help it but to worry bout my 2tests n 3presentations.
i'm not d kind dat can sit still not doing anything.
evn though i'm shivering under d striking sun.
evn though i felt d earth is moving while i stand.
evn though i feel like collapsing while i'm sitting.
evn though i can't breathe sumtymes.

it's so boring u noe.
lying down,relying on people.
*blue polar bear hibernating syndrome comes again.welcome!

thanx 2 all my fwens who cares bout me evn though u guys r so far away..
fir,yazid,ilud,ammar,fatin etc2..
thnx 4 all d text msgs n calls.
i appreciate dat.

talking bout fasting.
i cant wait for my raya holidays.
planned for PD,Pangkor&Lumut,Sabah,Singapore..
sorry to say..
i didnt have a "kampong" to go back to during raya.
wnt to noe wut i did during raya few years back ?
i went for muvees with my bro n sis.
went for shopping.
went to other states for cuti2 Malaysia.
i even worked during 1st day raya!
*d pay was great..(i'm talking bout triple payment n tips guys..)
(^_^)\/

need sum motivation.
need sum inspiration.
need sum booster.
not motivated enuff to push myself forward..
moral down~

creating a sculpture of the past wasn't easy..

ada aku kesah??

i'm to0 picky bout wut i eat & wut i drink & wut i wear.
people said "ngada2 la ko neyh"
i was like "so what?it's my body & my money"

daripada korg duk tegok air coke,pepsi berbotol2.
baek ak jd ngada2 demand nk yogurt drink,real fruit juice(not cordials).
drpd korg duk telan asam jeruk,bnda2 pdas.
baek ak demand perfectly cooked foods.
it's my stomach,not urs.
btw,i'm d one paying my life insurance,not u.

people says i spend a lot buying expensive stuffs.
so what?
even my parents never nag me bout it.
it's d satisfaction dat matters.
it's bout d quality.
it's bout what i want for me,what i want to wear,what i want to eat.
btw,i'm not using ur money.
so back off!
stop talking shits.

so people,stop it.
cuz u noe wut??
i just don't care.
i don't care bout what u talk bout me.
i don't care if ur jealous.
i don't care if u don't like me.
i don't care if my money's all gone for d best stuffs.
i just don't fucking care!!

stop looking at me if u just wanna talk behind me.
stop collecting sins n giving me pahala.
stop showing "all good faces" in front of me.
stop pretending dat u want to be frens with me.
if u just wanna use me.
coz i dun do shits.
and i dun even give a damn bout people like u.
got it??

i'm not showing off.
i am what i am.
take it or leave it.

i am wild.just endure it.

can't lose u.

musim konvo UKM dh abes.
dah final year neyh.
sdey plak tyme pesta konvo.
bkn sbb senior2 dah grad.
tp sdey sbb trpkir.
turn aku plak grad next year.
InsyaAllah.

mo0n.
ainie.
fara.
my kesayangans~

sdeynyer nak tnggalkan dowg next year.
exactly 1 more year from now.
god,plz gimme more time to spend wit 'em.
can't imagine days w/i 'em.
cz there are no dull moments.
our days 2gether filled wif lurve n laughter



but i think.
yg akn pling trase kehilangan.
fara.
she'll be spending 1 more year in ukm w/o us.
b tough gurl.
we love u.
we'll always be wif u.



babes,
i love u guys so much.
thanx 4 always being there 4 me.
when i need shoulder to cry on.
when i need a friend to laugh with.



god,i thank you so much.
for giving me them in my life.

C7 rulez!!~

A friend will never leave you high and dry,
A friend won't ever say goodbye.
A friend will always be there when you're in need,
A true friend will come, you won't have to plead.

A friend won't let you worry no more,
My friend you were there for the present and yore.
A friend will never let you cry alone,
A friend like you I only wish I could clone.

A friend seems to know when you hurt,
A friend is always on the alert.
To reach for the sky, a friend will assist,
To do your best, a friend will insist.

A friend will never leave you down at the dumps,
A friend will always be there to share the lumps.
My friend, if there is only one thing I would want to be,
Is to strive to be a carbon copy of the friend you've been to me.

drugged

come.
let me list down for u things i need to do
starting from tomorrow until end of the semester..
*while i got d chance to update this thingy

PRESENTATIONS:

1. Keefektifan Undang-undang Antarabangsa Alam Sekitar (4 Sept)
2. Konflik Etnik Malaysia 1969 (20 Ogos)
3. Peranan International Court of Justice (ICJ) dalam isu Sipadan-Ligitan (19 Ogos)
4. Impak Kebangkitan China sebagai Kuasa Besar pada abad ke-21 dan dampaknya kepada Keseimbangan Strategik & Kestabilan Serantau (10 Ogos)

MIDTERMs:

1. Kuasa-kuasa Besar Asia Pasifik (24 Ogos)

PROGRAMS:

1. Tayangan Ambang Merdeka (14 Ogos)
2. Interaksi bersama Pelajar Tahun 1 Fakulti Sains Sosial & Kemanusiaan (16 Ogos)
3. Majlis Makan Malam bersama Graduan FSSK (18 Ogos)
4. Majlis Berbuka Puasa bersama Anak-anak Yatim (9/10 Sept)
5. Kursus Fasilitator (13 Sep)
6. Program Motivasi FSSK (2-4 Okt)
7. Lawatan ke Muzium Negara & Muzium Kesenian Islam (29 Ogos/5 Sept)

damn!
too many things to do.
in such a short semester..
i bet more is coming soon.
aish~

all this didn't include all my meetings.
plus.
campus election programs.

ouh.
i'm so tired.
dead.dead.dead.

cn i have more than 24 hours a day?
so i could have enuff sleep??

giving up.

weak.
tired.
cramped.
messy.

i mish him sho much.
wif all diz works.
plus his own schedule.
i dun think we cn hve time to be together for d next 1-2 months.

today.
a song stucked in my head.
Cassie-Long Way to Go.
cz recently,there's a guy.
wanting me so bad.
i hate it when he kept on calling n texting.
cz i dun hve time for him.(or any other guy)
he just knew me for like,few days..
yet he said so many stupid things.
dat makes me wanna puke!
stupid moron!~
i think diz song is pretty suitable for diz situation ryte now.
RIMAS!
SERABUT!
so plz dude,go away..


mode:: i'm hugged by his love~

note::could sumone give me sum drug,painkiller,supplements or any kind of pills dat could ease off d pain dat i'm going through ryte now??

exhausted!

my fwens said.
"belle,stop working so hard"
how in d world am i suppose to do dat??
d workloads kept on coming.
n it's non-stop people!

i can't even sleep well.
plus.
my headache is not over yet since last week.
urghh~

pressures is coming from all angle.
even my high-definition egoistic+ignorance shield can't handle it.
and it's reflected on my face evrytime i'm working on something while thinking bout sumthing else..
damn!~
* it means i don't even look cute while working.serabai!

ouh2.
i need some cuddling sessions.
i need a few therapy sessions.
i need screaming time.

depressed.hyper-tension.exhausted.

sculpture of the past...

The past is like a sculpture
Cold, unyielding stone,
Shaped in all the heat of life
But now best left alone.

If you'd like to look at it,
I'm sure that you will see
Someone somewhat similar,
But not the same as me.

The difference is in loving you,
Which changes sex to light,
From ego-driven ecstasy
To mutual delight...

From self-consuming pleasure
That can the self destroy,
To self-surpassing tenderness,
And joy in giving joy.

I am no longer who I was,
But am completely yours
In all my passion and desire,
In all that faith restores.

So do not turn away from me,
Jealous of the past,
And we in our embrace shall dance
To music that will last....

talk to me..

Talk to me as lovers do,
Regardless what you have to say,
And I will gladly talk to you.

Be kind, but most of all be true,
Throw your masks and shields away
Talk to me as lovers do..

Anger, pain, and boredom, too,
Let all that's in you come my way,
And I will gladly talk to you.

We've had rough times, but we get through,
We choose through hurricanes to stay,
So talk to me as lovers do...

Beneath the storm I will renew
My vow to love you more each day,
And I will gladly talk to you...

All darkness turns to light when you
And I can weep and touch and play.
Come talk to me as lovers do
And I will gladly talk to you...

moving on..

We started out as friends and now it's love
How beautiful to move so easily
From comradeship to passionate intimacy
Pure gain, with no rough edges to remove...

This turn was nothing I'd been thinking of,
No maybes or perhaps-es, consciously...

I knew desire, but love was not for me
Until I felt my heart from friendship move
I never felt so happily at home
As I do now, so rich in what life brings...

Your pleasure now is mine, as mine is yours
I never realized that my life alone
Flitted like a ghost among dead things
Glancing in through other people's doors....

hate u mr time!~

few days goes by..
i'm still not in d pink of health.
sakit tekak.
pning2 rama2.
sema2.
tp malash g check-up.
adess~
* ad bro ensem offer nk bwk ak g clinic td.tp ak malas+kalo g pn,bkn ak mkn ubt pn.bzr duit scholar ak jer..

to0o much work to do.
but weekend aritu dah meronggeng2 xsdar dri.
release sket r tension ak.
w/pn sbnrnya xde r release ngat.
cz ble blk kolej blk..
tgk notes,fail yg mkin tebal dgn article2 yg blom dibace..
plus.
diary aku yg mkin padat ngn prog2 & metg2..
i need a PA!!!
to organize my metgs n schedules for progs,classes,presentations.
spe ekhlas nk jd PA aku??
huhuhu

bwu clz 2 ari utk mggu neyh.
kpale ak dh sarat.
dlm clz xyh ckp ar..
monday morning ok ag.
absorb gler babeng arr laju.
ble dh mr mgrain dtg melawat aku.
td pas clz french mula la aku blur.
abes clz kul 6 mmg pngsan twus.
rumet ak pn ak xtgor.
die tny nak blikn mknan pn ak xlrat gler nak msg td.

tyme2 byk kje arr mr mgrain nk dating ngn ak..
tggu la nnt2 k syg??
i byk kje neyh..
huhuhuhu

maw cuti!!!
cpt r abes presentations.
cpt r abes stdy week.
cpt r abes finals.
plz,plz,plz.....
*mr time,plz walk faster!

p/s:: i mish my baby sho much..sob3~

penat.

ouh.
sgt pnat.
mcm nk trcbut kaki aku jln2 kt kLcc.
dhla mcm sardin.
pergghh~

pkir dh janji ngn ainie,nk tman die bli printer.
kt pc fair.
kalo x,mmg ak tito je ari sbtu neyh.
siyes nantok gler mse nak kuar ngan die td.

pape pown.
mmg besh arr arini.
w/pn pning sbb rmai sgt org.
usha2 ciptaan Tuhan.
gelak2 mcm sakai.
wat prangai gila2 msing2.
*mcm xde org laen kt skeliling kn..hahahah

pasni tobat xnk kuar jejalan ag.
abes duit aku!!
huhuhu
yakin je bley duk diam xg jln mne2.
hurmm..
bley kot..
kalo ak rse tahap kegemilangan asgment dh smp.
mmg xbrckp ngn org,xkuar blik,xg mne2 pon arr mse tuh...
huhuhuh

mode:: jealous org laen kuar jln ngn bf mereka..*sigh*