limitations.

tangan menggigil tahan marah.
hati aku terbakar2 tahan sabar.
memang aku hampir2 nak maki orang tadi.

pergh..
betol2 uji tahap kesabaran aku neyh.
aku rasa memang macam nak meletop.

i just can't fucking believe.
u raised up your voice to me.
who d hell am i to u?
a toy?
u threw me away when ur mad.
u pick me back up when u need something.
is it???

people will always be like dat.
they will never appreciate u.
until they felt lost.(if they have feelings)
until they felt like losing something precious.
n at dat moment.
they will realised.
it will be to0 late.
to even say sorry.

baekhati.

kadang2..
mungkin aku yang terlalu bodoh.
terlalu baik hati memaafkan kesalahan orang lain.
dengan senang.

marah memang marah.
tapi nak wat camne.
aku memang senang maafkan orang.
sebab aku anggap.
smua benda yang jadi.
smua bnda yang orang tu duk marah2.
ad sket salah aku jgak.
so,ak xreti nak marah balik.
aku akan minta maaf banyak2.

kadang2.
orang tanya.
nape aku xmarah??
nape aku susah nak naekkn suara bila aku marah?
aku takde jawapan untuk korang.
coz t aku taw.
korang cakap aku berlagak baek.
tapi siyes.
aku memang tak reti nak marah orang.
sebab aku sndri akan nanges n saket hati.
cz mrh org yg mrh aku tuh.

mak aku tanya.
apa yang wat aku kuat hati.
keras hati sangat.
tak balas pe orang wat jahat kat aku.
aku jawab:
"semua orang ada sebab bila wat salah.ada sebab tiba2 nak marah2.ada sebab nak naek suara.so,mesti disebalik sebab2 tu,kita jd penyebabnya sket2..so bila ada org mrh,jgn mrh.tp mntk maaf..lagipun,Tuhan ada nak balas perbuatan jahat orang tuh.so,xpyah susah2 nak balas,xpyah susah2 buat pape..Tuhan kan ada.."

mak aku tanya lagi.
kalo org wat salah.
die tak mntk maaf.
tapi kte maafkan.
Tuhan hapuskan tak kesalahan die tuh.
aku just cakap:
"smua kslhn manusia tuh,kne mntk maaf kt org yg kte wat salah tuh.."

tahap sabar aku memang dh smpai limit nih.
over limit dah pon.
lagi skali tadi.
aku yg mntk maaf.
sbb aku taknak crk pasal.
cz aku taw.
kalo aku panas hati,naek temper aku.
memang takde belas kasihan.
mmg kaw2 aku tengking je.
xkre sape pown.
jgn ingt aku baek hati,berlembut slame nih..
aku bley dignekan..
tidakk~
mmg silap besar la carik pasal ngan aku.

to whom it may concern.
be professional.
dun mix up all ur probs n throw it to me.
i'm not a punch bag.
but i noe i'm a go0d listener.
just tell me ur prob.
i'll try to settle it down for u.

cz i'm such an easy going gurl.
tell me wuts wrong.
n i wont get pissed off.
cz i'm not stupid.
i've gone through many things.
i've grown up all diz years, handling to0 many adult problems that burdened me.
so dun be stupid.
telling me there's nothing wrong wit u.
there's nothing happened.

i'm so sorry.
if ever my existence in this life.
ever burdened you.

i'm done.
dun talk to me anybody.
i'm trying to cool down ryte now.

bonheur!!!

weee...
saya sgt gumbira ok arini..
dpt ksut yg diidamkan..
dpt lpaskn windu.
bahagia!
(^_^)\/

mon amour.
je t'aime.
tu me manques.
s'étreignent et s'embrassent pour vous...
l'homme de ma vie~

"Women wish to be loved not because they are pretty, or good, or well bred, or graceful, or intelligent, but because they are themselves..."

being in love again...

I have loved and I have lost
Give my heart at any cost
Had it broke, thrown in the dirt
A full force smack of hurt..

But someone came to my side
Pouring out her love
Giving me her heart
Wiping away my tears
Giving me my pride..

Holding on to me
Holding me up high
Sending me smiles and giving me love
Showing me what love was really like...

Not sure that I could love again
I don’t know where to begin
How to find all the pieces..

I’m trying to pour them in her hands
As she promises she can fix it..

But to love again after the last time
After all the loss I went through
After all that was taken from my life
It’s all scaring me to death..

I don’t know if I can give her my best
But all she asks is to love her
And just leave her with the rest..

So I am going to give my heart to her
And try real hard to love again...

healing process....

bonjour!!~

1st of all..
i hate last saturday..
n i hate midvalley's gsc.
*dun ask y..

okay.
now let's us proceed to reality check.

i spent loads of money recovering from loneliness n a big lost in my life recently..
i'm so gonna die if my mom saw wut i bought wit my money.
huhuhu
but,i need it!
i need the so-called "therapy" to heal me..
as so other things that i needed such as a bF..*wink*
but i think shopping is the best therapy..
besides bowling n lactose/gelato ofcuz!!
(^_^)\/
*mak,i want a new wardrobe!! ;p

going through the days..
i make myself occupied with loads of stuffs.
i really am great in creating a burden on my own head.
hahahaha

i felt so sorry for the faculty's meetings.
i skipped like what..
3 meetings already??
the timing is so not suitable with my schedule..
sowie!
*ada clz,kursus pengaturcaraan majlis..cnt avoid~

i finally decided last nyte..
to give the burden of leading Kelab Aspirasi KTHO to sumone else.
it's not dat i'm not confident to take the responsibility..
but i think d club needs guys to conduct everything..
such as d late nyte meetings..
but apparently,i can't see a guy who's willing to be a real man taking the responsibility from me or Kak Dny..
come on guys!!
dont gimme d chance to embarrass u guys by doing more work than u can do for me..??
ouh,i would love to send my regards to all d guys out there who were so afraid in being a leader...
dont u guys realized u were challenged by a girl here???
*wink2*

bout my thesis plak..
i really do need to start sleeping in d library by next week..
10 books 4 literature review only???
omigosh..
aku rase aku mati kne hempap bku kot..
kowg,kalo aku xblk,crk di sebalik rak2 bku kt ptsL tu ekk??
urgghh~

the classes was really making me crazy.
all those babbling,skipping topics etc2
plus,tutorials..
ouh,i need to do some fragmentation in my brain ryte now!!
*sigh*

note: bila ku sedari,diri disayangi..langkah kaki ini semakin berani..

LuSt!

The lust we fought for in now just a pile of ash.
The lust we fought for was a lie to it's very last.
The lust we fought for burns in my memory every night.

The lust we fought for wasn't worth it's own right.
The lust we fought for seemed so out of control.
The lust we fought for only needed us to grab a hold.

So the lust we fought for wasn't lust at all.
Indeed it was love that made our great fall...

The lust we fought for keeps me crying at night.
The lust we fought for has me praying to turn it right.
The lust we fought for makes me miss you more.

The lust we fought for broke my heart to it's core.
The lust we fought for brings out a million tears.
The lust we fought for challenged all of my fears.

So the lust we fought for was the pain i deserved to face.
Indeed it was love from that magically beautiful place....

The lust we fought for is now gone up in flames.
Because I now know that the lust we fought for was real all the same....

note :: " I don't want to be near you for the thoughts we share but the words we never have to speak..."

Sshhhh!~

You don't have to say a word when I am dreaming
Let me skate on thin ice and in furtive glances
Let me tear in the sight of my lonely Sea.

You don't have to say a word when you see around you
expectations with no end
endless kilometers with no turns.

You don't have to say a word when you observe
deaths surrounded by pink fairytales
souls which bleed above in charming smiles

You don't have to say a word when the fastening cracks
through words and expressions which caress apathy
through repeated actions of nonsense.

You don't have to say a word when time deadens
seconds sweat under the summer Sun
stars falls desperately in your last kiss

You don't have to say a word when I am lost
amuse with my mess as I walk
in a tightrope which somebody soon will cut.

You don't have to say a word for the injustice of this world
cause justice is a human invention
cause moon cant die in our hearts.

You don't have to say a word when I will tell you "I love you"
Your look, I have took in a secret place of the heart
And I have love the sea through your absence.

So please don't say a word
Just listen the sound of the autumn wind
and when away from me you'll be
feel the ocean of my closed eyes.

note to self:: be strong~

missing~

Love is unpredictable
Love is uncontainable
Love is reliable
Love is infallible

Love is right
Love is wrong
Love is weak
Love is strong

Love is good
Love is pure
Love is real
Love is sure

Love is jealous
Love is pain
Love is lost
Love is gained

Love is naked
Love is raw
Love is everything
Love is all

Love is here
Love is there
Love is beautiful
Love is fair

Love is great
Love is shit
Love is demanding
Love is it....

Love can't see you but you can't see it
Love is a sneaky thing I guess sort of slick

Love can hurt and Love can heal
Love can be born and Love can kill

Love has won and Love has lost
Love can catch and Love can toss

Love can stand and Love can fall
Love is small and Love is tall

Love is up and Love is down
Love can smile and Love can frown

Love is good and Love can be bad
Love is quite and Love can brag

Love is a little and Love is a lot
Love continues and Love stops

Love can hope and Love can dream
Love can talk and Love can sing

Love can be a word or Love can be a ring
Love can be nothing or Love can be everything.....

i mish him sho much!!! ='(

sweetheart..

haruslah saket hati kan..
maen tukar2 waktu clz.
abes tu mne aku nak sumbat lagi 2 tutorial aku?
kejam gler!!
huhuhu


Monday

• Kuasa2 Besar Asia Pasifik (10-12)
• tutorial Kuasa2 Besar (2-3)

Tuesday

• French Level 4 (10-2)
• Diplomasi & Dasar Luar (4-6)

Wednesday

• tutorial Ekonomi (10-11)
  

Thursday

• Konflik Antarabangsa (8-10)
• tutorial Konflik (12-1)
• Undang2 Antarabangsa (2-4)

Friday

• Politik Ekonomi Antarabangsa Asia Pasifik (10-12)

mslh problemnya adlah..
my french clz.
die xnk ari jumaat ptg,die xnk isnin pg.
supposedly,d clz will be on Tues (10-12) & Thurs (10-12)
sume prob ngn Thurs's clz.
maen tkr2..
pning kpale aku..
finally decided,straight 4 hours of french on Tues..
waaa!!
i think i cant evn speak english aftr dat clz..
huhuhu

nvrmnd la...
aftr dz nak tkr tutorial on Wed ke Mon morning (9-10)..
wo0oo!
so officially,Wed xde clz.
gler kentang!!
(^_^)\/

after french clz..
sgt geram.
so i put on my earphone n play d music.
LOUD.
cara m'hilangkan geram.
diam.dengar lagu kuat2.menyanyi.

lagu plak memang besh.
Kelly Clarkson's.
i love all her songs!!
ofcz bcz of its lyrics.
duhh!~

this one is dedicated to mon bébé..

Lay back, enjoy the fall lover I won't hurt you
I take it all on if you trust me
Don't hesitate let it go, let me know, baby show me
I don't read minds but I'm trying my best to read yours

Yeah
Let me know, let me know
Yeah
Let me know, it's all for you

Help me help yourself
I want to give it all to you but
Don't make me second guess, I don't want to play games no more
For sure I've got your back, I've never wanted anything more than you and your sexy smile
I love you so try not to blow it this time

Yeah
Let me know, let me know
Yeah
Let me know, it's all for you

Everything inside you, about you
I want to know, taste, hold, love you anytime I want to
Let me show you, let me give you everything I have saved just for you
I know you love me but I'm gonna need more than what you're giving me
I want to feel you but I feel empty
You gotta help me, you gotta meet me halfway
There I see you, can you see me, closer now
Just tell me, show me, what it's gonna take to get you to trust me, love me like I know you can

note:: If I can't have you, then all the damage has been done...

love=game??

looking at my friends.
cheated.
confused.
crying.
faking smiles.
i can't take it anymore.

even i do have my own personal problems.
but without them.
there's no sane 'me'.
as for my girls.
be strong.
we'll go through life together.
love you guys so much!!!~

therefore,this poem below is specially dedicated for my lovely friends..(farah,moon)
cheer up gurls!

You say that you're not ready to tell me
And you say that you need more time
But without knowing what the problem is
It feels like I'm the one commiting the crime

Coz it's been driving me crazy just thinking
Thinking about what the problem could be
I can tell that something's been bothering you
But why can't you open up to me?

Coz all I want right now is to sort this out
So please just tell me what's going on
You're making me feel like you're still here
But at the same time already gone

Coz today when I was holding your hand
It felt like it wasn't the same
And if only you could understand how I feel
I really hope you know that love is not a game

i need answers!

Oh heart,
why must you beat?
why must you weap?
why must you hide?
what lies inside?
why must you cry?
why do you despise?
why are you weak?
why can't you speak?
why must you burn?
why can't you learn?
what went wrong?
can't you be strong?
why are you blue?
where are you?

note:: "Love is a smoke made with the fume of sighs.."

Que faire?

Maybe I should say something
Maybe I should speak out

Maybe I should reach down my mouth
Pull out a bleeding heart

And say it ain't mine

Maybe I should find something
Maybe I should decide on something

Maybe I will
Maybe I won't....

p/s: he is not mine..yet~

mixed up~

holla..
so busy lately..
*yeah ryte!
hahah

added another subject.
cz i'll be repeating 1 paper.
diplomasi & dasar luar.
just bcoz i got sick so bad on d exm day.
u wanna noe y??
cz it's d 4th paper straight in 3days time!
nvrmnd.
i'll try not 2 get sick during exams diz semester.

wednesday.
i slept for 12 hours!
so weak.
dunno y.
i think i need to go for medical checkup diz weekend.
a bit worried bout d H1N1 thingy..
*luckily he's ok..

thursday.
woke up late for my 8am clz.
dahla my thesis's supervisor's clz!
wakakakaka~
dlm clz tu..
kpale mmg off!
blur jer..
mcm nk pngsan pn ad gak.
blk kul 10 tuh mmg twus tito!
til my next clz at 2pm bwu mangun.
mybe overdosed kot.
manyak sgt tito.
i'll try to be less sleepy aftr diz..
*hmmph~

okayy.
enough bout my classes..
bowink siot..
asek clz jer..
td ad metg faculty.
dah nak start wat program2.
wo0o0o0o...
can't imagine the busyness...

there's 1 thing dat pissed me off lately.
1 gurl.
dammit!
i dunno y..
it happens long tyme ago.in sumone's blog.
she suddenly commented on my comments.n emo2.
pehal weyh?
kalo period pown xyah ar nk mrh2 aku??
ak dh siap ayat baek jer..
die ckp "wateva!"
mmg syiall arr..
weyh...
aku tak tringin pon balak ko tuh!
amek la bwk lari jauh2..
takde nyer aku desperate ngat amek ko pny bf.
*jgn smpai aku marah ko dlm bhsa perancis!
urrrghhhh!!!!!

p/s:: Do u really have any idea how important you are to me? Any concept at all of how much i love you?

jum kembali ke sekolah!~

yeay..
5th semester dh start!!
sgt hepi sbb dpt jmp dowg ag..
hepi dpt lepak sme2 smp 4-5 pagi..
wo0o0o!~

1st day clz..
1000 am,kuasa2 besar asia pasifik.. prof madya ruhanas harun..
dhla msuk lmbt 5 minit..
mcm bese arr..
hahaha
*seb baek xkne marah..
mmg trbaek la lecturer neyh..
tny name,tnda kdtgn...
bg assignment...

even though gbr ni agk blur..
bley nampak gak kn list tajuk assgment yg di cadangkan oleh prof untuk present time tutorial..
after analising all d topics given..
listed all d points needed for each topic..
i choosed::
"Bincangkan dampak kebangkitan China sebagai kuasa besar di abad ke-21 dan dampaknya kepada keseimbangan strategik dan kestabilan serantau"
ohohoho...
tajuk ke-3..
awl2 dh kne start wat dh essay+presentation slides..
huhuhuhu

nevermind..
bnd bese la wt asgment tu kan??
sonok gler dpt wt asgment..
*hipo sgt
hahahha

2nd thing on my very 1st day as a final year student..
my thesis!!!

gambar di atas adlh borang rekod pertemuan penyelia dgn pelajar..
so,each time jmp Dr Ravi,ak kne swuh die sign bnd ni..
mst die ske kn..
hahaha

i didnt do my homework yet..
lazy gurl..
so,mybe nxt week bwu jmp Dr Ravi discuss my thesis proposal..
btw,tajuk tesis aku adlh:
"Perluasan Kesatuan Eropah (European Union) dan Implikasinya"

so,pe lg belle..
reti2 la start g library..
bertapa membaca buku2..
adesss!~

back to school!!

look at the post's title.
so0oo0o boringg aite?
duhh!~

wuts great bout having classes?
come on,think +ve..

let me list it down:

1. bangun pagi..lagi2 kalo clz kul 8..(tp sllunya ak bgn 30mnit b4 clz start..ahahaha)
2. lots of work to do!!(clz notes,tutorials,assgments)
3. pretty occupied..(usually i got loads of meetings..so,it's good for me..)
4. dun hve tyme to think stupid stuffs (e.g stupid feelings,boredom etc,etc..)
5. no eating disorder (yeah ryte...sumtymes dh 3ari xmkn pn aku xpasan..roomate ak yg igtkn swuh mkn slalunya)
6. it's final year already..so,i really need most of d tyme in my lyfe..to spend wit my besties..=)

mimi,akma,hus,belle (my clzmtes)

wut do i mish most bout ukm??

1. my besties (farah,mo0n,ainie)
2. junior2 yg senghal (eqin,eppy,hana)
3. college's peeps.(hussein onn)
4. d gossip girls (syikin,hus)
5. my classmates
6. not 2 forget..my lecturers!

hus,belle,eqin (during philosophy clz)


hus n me (after french clz)


syikin n me

belle,eppy,ainie,eqin


when d clz starts getting boring..(^_^)\/


it's them dat makes me mish ukm..=)

let me tell u bout them:

• ainie :: we met each other since d orientation week in UKM..majoring in mass communication..great gurl..so hardworking evn though she's so lazy to wake up early..=)
• eppy :: my junior..we r neighbors for 1 year..sgt2 manja..hehehe..majoring in economics..if i'm not mistaken..
• eqin :: my junior to0..eppy's roomate.w/pn die junior,die lbey tua ok..hehehe..plz jgn wt die bebel..pning kowg t..hahaha..majoring in business..
• mo0n :: ainie's roomate..we knew each other since 1st year..w/pn xrpat sgt..cz bck at dat tyme,die lbey rpat ngn ainie..she's unpredictable.quite degil.hehehe..but a good listener..thx darl..muahx!majoring in mathematics...
• farahhana :: my roomate..diz coming semester she'll become my roomate again..hohoho..knew her since d 1st day in ukm..great fwen of mine!she knew a lot bout me..we hardly can be separated..hehehe..majoring in chemical engineering..so,i'll be leaving her alone during her final year..sowie babe!
  

enchanted...

diz song is for my fwen,moon..
she's so broken-hearted ryte now...
huhuhu
yeah..
mcm bese r babe..
biar aku nyanyi utk ko..
mcm pe ak slalu wat la.
tyme ko bebel2 kt aku..
hehehe

Hattan-Memburu Rindu

Ke manakah hatimu
Kala aku
Menanti kata cinta
Mengalir airmata
Kala sepi tiba

Terasakah langkahmu makin laju
Melangkah batas rindu
Dan aku pun memburu
Mentari yang jauh

Berikanlah masa untukku
Mendendang kasih dalam syahdu
Tidak terhenti pilu
Di dadaku
Terlepas bayangmu

Terasakah langkahmu makin laju
Melangkah batas rindu
Dan aku pun memburu
Mentari yang jauh

Ku genggamkan semalam
Ku simpan jadi nyanyian
Ku peluk bayang hitamku
Menjadi kamus mimpiku

sudden changes..urgh!~

WTFS????
tetibe ada claz ari isnin??
syialll arr..
ni blum msuk french classes..
cz mostly b4 diz my french classes will be on mon-wed..
last sem's tues & thurs..
stupid schedule!
arrghh!~

no point of screaming.
but,who cares??

woit!!!!!
aku dh planning baek pny nak siapkn tesis aku awal..
asl tkr jdual??
shit!!
*to d new schedule

so pissed off..
stupid2.
i tot it will be so heaven just 2-3 days of classes..
in my 5th semester..
damn!

1. Undang-undang Antarabangsa & Politik Dunia (Thurs,1400)
2. Pengajian Konflik Antarabangsa (Thurs,0800)
3. Politik Ekonomi Antarabangsa Asia Pasifik (Fri,1000)
4. Kuasa-kuasa Besar Asia Pasifik (Mon,1000)
5. Bahasa Perancis Level 4 (Rujuk PPBL)

omigosh..
plz let me hve my french clz on thurs n friday.
pweeez2!~

Daydreaming.....

As I sit here gazing out the window,
Instead of working, I’m daydreaming of you...
And wondering if while you’re in your own world,
You’re thinking of me too...

I reminisce about the day we met and how you made me feel,
Looking at the glowing smile on your face,
Staring into your dreamy eyes,
Your smell, your touch, your warm embrace

What a special day that was...

And now, I’m starting to feel that warmth inside,
Like nothing or no one else can make me feel...
Butterflies, a constant smile, happy thoughts,
Looking forward to the next time we meet.

What lies ahead, down the road to love?
Can it possibly be what I’ve been hoping for?
All my goals, dreams, passions, hopes...
Glaring now before me with great anticipation.

No one knows what tomorrow brings...
One can only wish and believe...
I have abounding faith that God will take care of me,
And bring the right person into my life.

Could it be you?
Time will tell...
I feel a special bond starting between us,
And so I’m truly hopeful that it is (you).