half.

hellloooooo...
phewww!

been nearly a month since i visit my own blog.
i dont have the passion to blab anything bout everything here anymore.
lost of interest i guess.
so should i shut dz page down?

halfway through november.
just finished my semester break.
but none of my work is done.
kids with school holidays.
you know what we'll choose over homeworks right? :)

now am back in college where my mind will get tortured everyday.
plus no nice peeps around makes it more worst.

people are getting married every week this month.
they are not strangers.
they are classmates from my lower form,upper form,foundation n degree school life.
i wish them happiness and hoping i will get blessings too in my search for happiness.
congratulations lovelies!

some ask if ever i felt lonely.
i said yes but as for now i dont feel like getting involve in anything that could break my heart in the moment though.

it's fragile.
damn fragile.
with wounds n scars.
the pain is unbearable.
even until now.

plus i have trust issues.
they said dun trust easily.
i'm doing that so maybe thats why i push people away.
cz i know i trust people easily.
too kind am i?

they also said give people a chance.
i wanted to.
but my heart refused.
it hurts to hear those loving words from some people to me.
when i know i cant accept it.
cz i know i'll hurt them by rejecting those feelings.

what to do?
i cant be like diz forever ayte?
maybe someday somehow God will give someone that opportunity to open up my heart again.
as for now,i'll smile n say thank you whenever others compliment me for my figure or beauty or anything else.

i cant accept anyone right now.
not that easy.
as the dream guy that i've always wanted appeared and suddenly vanished w/o any good reason.
i know i wont have him.
but somehow,i wish someone like him will save me.

haa,again i made this blog as a diary.
who cares,it's mine anyways. :)

lets enjoy life belle!
God will send someone from heaven for you in the future.
no worries :)

mode: chasing dreams.

p/s: sorry if i ever hurt you,but i dont want to lie about my feelings.