wake up.

hey2.
it's raining.
but i'm not crying.
good huh?
coz i always do hate rainy days... :(


be strong belle.
"pipi kamu dah xtembam mcam dolu2.aset dh hilang." Naim said.
ouh u really have loads of things to catch up after 1 year of silence btween us.
btw thx for troubling urself running here n there to make sure i'm ok.


mission::
1- memantapkan diri. *bodo kn?hahahah* (meck,naim,epul je taw.hahaha)
2- mnyemakkan kepala dgn exam.
3- menchumelkan pipi.
4- berjogging cuci mata+tenangkan fikiran *tp slalu ujan ptg..jog ats katil je la eh??*
5- stop fighting.u wont win. *i wont stop.ok??*

okay.

i got this from Daeng's blog.

it's an old post.

but i think i'm kinda slapped by diz thingy.

thanx bro~ :)

here it goes~


for troubled lovers who can't seem to shake off the past..be it your own or your partner's...

wake up!!slap your face round a few times n get hold of yourself.
not only you are hurting yourself but you are killing your partner as well..thus jeopardizing your relationship.

fun fact - more than 60% people did not end up with their 1st love - time magazine

now the virus will be like

"what we had will never be as beautiful as his/her 1st.."

"am i ever gonna be good enuff for him/her ?"

and the deadliest " He/She can never be as happy being with me"

Scrape this thoughts off your minds. Only because they did love each other doesn't mean that they should end up together.Many people will remember how hard it was to get over them but will also admit that they found greater loves in their lifetime.

Love is a learning process..you may not be able to learn everything from your 1st (eventhough it WAS introduction to love semester 1). Most people had to go through the 1st, 2nd, 3rd or maybe more before they can find the right one..some even after marriage, as chilly as it may sound.

Kudos to those who actually ended up with their 1st..back to the topic..
you have to think outside the box..love is not about things that are visible to the naked eye. It is the matter of your soul. It is too pure n honorable to be affected by cliches or some typical mindset
a gentlemen may end up living his life with a pornstar for all i know..if both had golden hearts and loving each other 100 percent.

The advantage is yours..if you havent noticed. He/She is a much better lover..Derived from experience, well versed..in every stages of being in love.

He/She is much better now..in every aspect..and he/she is all yours..when his/her ex can only watch :D

nobody is perfect..and everyone deserves another chance
and we can always find forgiveness..in the purity of love

Fight for your love..

the one thing that she's been missing her entire life..

would probably be someone who would fight for her. 






mode:: lost.


p/s:: fight for me..

tears.

sorry mom.
i cant be strong in front of u.
i could only cry n keep quiet.
thanx 4 ur support and advice.
i think i'm gonna handle diz on my own.
from now on..
no worries~

done crying.
*diz is a total lie*

done being stupid.
*another lie*

such a mess.
*hey,it's d truth peeps!*

severe headache+heartache.
*another truth*

sigh.
hmm~

i could only fake a smile in front of others.
when it's obvious i'm breaking into pieces.

no socialising.
cz i cant stand pretending to be happy.
when inside i'm crying out loud.
but no one hears.

all diz while i pretend to be strong.
so i could see u guys smile.
i'm happy when u guys are.
cz i dun wnt 2 be a burden to people.
with my own mess.
with my problems.

iman::
thanx for ur concern.
but i think i'm gonna handle diz on my own.
i'm gonna ask for ur help.
only when i'm not breathing.
so,thanx a lot.

akash::
i'm sorry.
i cant drag u into my problems.
so lets just stay away from each other for a while ayte?

moon::
thanx byk2.
tp ak xkuat.
mngkin sme dgn pe yg ko lalui dlu.
tp lg saket.
tolg pegang ak kuat2 eh?
huhuhu~

people surrounding me::
dun stare.
just walk through me.
i noe u guys can see d pain i'm going thorugh.
with my mess n my swollen eyes.
but plz.
dun ask.
cz i cried so many times in public.
i'm trying hard to stop doing dat now.

mode:: mata bengkak.kepala berat.

p/s:: somebody take diz pain away..plz~

done.

Just One more moment,

that's all that's needed.

Like wounded soldiers

In need of healing.

Time to be honest,

This time I'm bleeding

Please don't dwell on it,

cause I didn't mean it.

I cant believe I said

I'd lay our love on the ground

But it doesn't matter 

'cause I've made it up

Forgive me now

Everyday I spend away

My souls inside out

Gotta be someway 

That I can make it up to you now,

Somehow..

By now you'd know that I'd come for you

No one but you,

Yes I'd come for you,

But only if you told me to..

And I'd fight for you

I'd lie, it's true

Give my life for you

You know I'd always come for you.

I was blindfolded,

But now I'm seeing

My mind was closing,

Now I'm believing.

I finally know

Just what it means,

To let someone in..

To see the side of me,

That no one does or ever will..

So if your ever lost

and find yourself all alone,

I'd search forever just to bring you home,

Here and now this I vow..

By now you'd know that I'd come for you

No one but you,

Yes I'd come for you

But only if you told me to..

And I'd fight for you

I'd lie, it's true

Give my life for you

You know I'd always come for you..

Yes I'd come for you,

No one but you,

Yes I'd come for you

But only if you told me to..

No matter what gets in my way

As long as there's still life in me

No matter what,

Remember you know I'll always come for you..

I'd crawl across this world for you

Do anything you want me to

No matter what,

Remember you know I'll always come for you

You know I'll always come for you...

"Why,with as much pain as it endures in hanging on,does the heart refuse to let go??"

"Maybe,just maybe...If you had put just a lil effort..Then all the insecurities would just be gone..."

"There's no one like you..That makes me do the things that at first seemed so hard.."

"If you love someone you always will. The choice is whether you fight for them or let them go. Make sure it's the right choice though.. Once they're gone. They're gone..." 

mode:: done.give up.


p/s:: If you want me in your life,tell me.

enlightened.

should i educate u more bout me?

coz i thought u should know me better.

when u are my so-called "best friend" all diz while.

ayte?

tell me.

wuts wrong wif me trying to improve myself.

from what i am before?

when u said to others dat i only pretend to be nice in front of others.

wuts wrong wif me having really good guy friends.

who happens to care for me.

and u told others dat i'm a slut?

wuts wrong wif me buying all d things i wanted.

and u telling people i tried to overshadowed em bcz i'm jealous of em?

one thing.

F*** OFF!

LET ME EDUCATE YOU.

i dun even take note of other's lyfe.

if it didnt related to me at all.

i only care if they r sick or have problems.

but i dun care wut they wanna do.

cz it's their right to do anythng.

i'm no one to stop people from doing anythng.

i dun tell other's secrets to other people.

when they trusted me to keep em.

i dun make myself busy.

trying to know every single thing bout others.

when i have my own lyfe to take care of.

i dun care wut sort of things u wanna do wif ur lyfe.

after i advised u not to do so.

it's ur choice.

it's ur lyfe.

not mine.

i wont bother.

so.

mind ur own business.

dun bitching around with me.

u dont know who ur dealing with.

coz i never show u the devil side of miss nabilah dat u know.

learn ur lesson gurl.

change.

before i change u.

mode:: betrayed.

p/s:: people,dun trust ur best friend.dun be so goodie-two-shoes like me.who forgives n forgets everyone.aishh~

truth.

sesedap oren kamu cakap pasal saya kat orang lain kan?

saya tak pernah bukak aib kamu pun.

sebab saya tau kamu percaya saya.

sebab tu kamu bagitau saya rahsia hidup kamu.

tapi saya bersyukur.

ada kawan2 baik.

yang tak cakap belakang kalau tak puas hati.

baru saya taw selama ni.

kamu burukkan saya depan diorang.

dan buat semua benda salah saya.

supaya mereka nampak saya penipu sebab pura2 baik.

apa masalah kamu?

dengki sangat kenapa?

kenapa cakap kat kawan baik saya sendiri yang saya tak suka diorang?

berapa lama kamu kenal saya berbanding diorang?

aishh~

saya tak pernah bukak aib kamu.

saya tak pernah canang benda2 yang kamu buat.

sebab saya tau smua tu hak masing2.

saya takde hak untuk cerita kat orang lain hal kamu.

saya bukan pompuan jahat.

tapi saya tak paham kenapa kamu nak saya setaraf dngan kamu.

nampaknya kamu tak cukup kenal saya.

sebab kamu cerita hal saya kat kawan2 saya.

diorang tau saya tak pernah sibuk hal orang lain.

kalau takde kaitan ngan saya.

kamu salah orang nak bawak mulut.

sebab kawan2 baik saya akan cerita apa yang kamu cakap kat saya.

sebab kami tak makan kawan.

kami tak tikam kawan dari belakang.

jatuh bangun kami sama2.

dari awal sampai akhir.

kalau nak berkawan.

kena ikhlas.

jangan cerita keburukan orang lain.

jangan reka cerita bukan2.

jangan putuskan persahabatan orang.

jangan sebar fitnah.

kebenaran tidak pernah menipu.

sepandai mana kamu nak sorok kesalahan kamu.

saya pasti akan tau.

mode:: tekanan jiwa

p/s:: ada orang cakap saya murah.habis dia tu pe kalo snggup cakap orang lain camtu?

themed.

*brief update*

i want to look a lil bit more indian.

on my last college's annual dinner last night.

not so indian me.

they said more likely arab.

wuteva..

hahahaha

had so much fun.

wif fara,nada,ainie,mo0n,sheema,ekin,eppy,eqin.

laughing out loud.

screaming.

hysteric moments.

gasping for air when we saw cute juniors.

oppsiee!~ ;p

i'm putting an end to all dramas.

yeay!

notice d inai on my hand? :)

kiss2...mwahx!~

mode:: in love!~ :)

p/s:: truly am.always have.always will.love u syaheer~

mask.

when ur bitching around.
i'll get it.
ur a total bitch.

but.
when it's me that u want to become.
get a life.

why dun u put dat pretty lil face of urs.
an identity of ur own.
not other's.

i just dun get it.
why ur so jealous of me?
u could be much more better than i am.
so just be urself.
hmm..

every single thing.
every single step.
every single move.
ur such a loser.

mode:: copycat.

p/s:: why are you,not you?bcoz i know AM me.for good.

"The one who can sense ur sadness in ur smile..can hear ur words in ur silence..and can feel ur love in ur anger..trust them!bcoz they are indeed ur real friend.."

impaired-ness.

lazy ass.
sleepy head.
motivationally impaired.
fucked up life.
what's more worst than that?

i wish i could have those happy moments back.
i wish i could be as crazy as before.
i wish i could be her again.

wishing too much is not good nabilah! :|

i controlled my food consumption nowadays.
no rice,no heavy dinner,no late night snacks.
plus kilometers of jogging.
but still.
i'm craving for nasty calories.
cakes,ice creams,cheesy wedges,western foods etc,etc.
except for chocolates.
still fat am i?
gosh~

stop being pretty.
it's not worth it.
*ok2,i will*

stop being happy.
if u could only just pretend.
*no,i wont*

stop being nice.
if people will only use u.
*hell NO!*

it's hard for me to understand.
which one.
how.
why.
what else.
aishhh~

Things that a GF wished her BF knew. 

#1 When you break her heart, the pain never really goes away.

#2 When she misses you, she's hurting inside.

#3 When she says it's over, she still wants you to be hers.

#4 When she walks away from you mad, follow her.

#5 When she stares at your mouth, kiss her.

#6 When she pushes or hits you, grab her tight & don't let her go.

#7 When she starts cursing at you, kiss her and tell her you love her.

#8 When she ignores you, give her your attention.

#9 When she pulls away, pull her back.

#10 When you see her at her worst, tell her she's beautiful.

#11 When you see her crying, just hold her and don't say a word.

#12 When you see her walking, sneak up and hug her waist from behind.

#13 When she's scared, protect her.

#14 When she lays her head on your shoulder, tilt her head up and kiss her.

#15 When she steals your favourite jacket, let her keep it and sleep with it for a night.

#16 When she teases you, tease her back and make her laugh.

#17 When she doesn't answer for a long time, reassure her that everything is okay.

#18 When she looks at you with doubt, back yourself up with the truth.

#19 When she says that she likes you, she really does more than you could understand.

#20 When she grabs your hands, hold hers and play with her fingers.

#21 When she bumps into you, bump into her back and make her laugh.

#22 When she tells you a secret, keep it safe and untold.

#23 When she looks at you in your eyes, don’t look away until she does.

#24 Stay on the phone with her even if she’s not saying anything.

#25 Don't let her have the last word.

#26 Don't call her hot, but gorgeous or beautiful is so much better.

#27 Say you love her more than she could ever love you.

#28 Argue that she is the best girl ever.

#29 When she's mad, hug her tight and don't let go.

#30 When she says she's OK, don’t believe it, talk to her about it, because 10 yrs later she'll still remember it.

#31 Call her at 12:00am on special occasions to tell her you love her.

#32 Call her before you sleep and after you wake up.

#33 Treat her like she's all that matters to you.

#34 Don't ignore her when she's out with you and your friends.

#35 Stay up all night with her when she's sick.

#36 Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid.

#37 Let her into your world.

#38 Let her wear your clothes.

#39 When she's bored and sad, hang out with her

#40 Let her know she's important.

#41 Kiss her in the pouring rain.

#42 When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is; "Who's ass am I kicking today baby?"

#43 After she reads this, she hopes one day you'd read it too. 

mode:: missing someone.

p/s:: watching movie alone while missing that someone is not cool! :(

drama queen.

Its not about whose right, or whose wrong

Its not about whose weaker, or whose strong

Its not about whose innocent, or whose fault

It aint really bout that kind of thing at all

Its not about who does it, who done it, or did it to who

Dont matter if the both of you lose

Its really not bout nothing, except for me and you

Its all about drama, and love, and relationships

And when the going gets tough, you deal with it

And you dont ever, you never walk away from it

You hold on, and be strong

Its all about drama, and trust, and making it

If your somebody, mess up, you take it in 

Dont let no body come between you you just stay with it

And hold on and be strong

And Hold on

Its not about the stupid things that we say

We're always saying stupid things anyway

Its not about the secrecy or the lies 

Girl everybody got a secret to hide

Its not about who was it, or was she, whose creeping on who

Wont matter if the both of us lose

Its really not bout nothing, except for me and you

Aint bout your pride

Aint bout your self

Its bout the two of you, and no one else

Aint bout the hurt

Aint bout the lies 

Aint bout the crazy things thats running through your mind

Its bout the love thats suppose to last and never die

Its all about drama, and love, and relationships

And when the going gets tough, you deal with it

And you dont ever, you never walk away from it

You hold on, and be strong

Its all about drama, and trust, and making it

If your somebody, mess up, you take it in 

Dont let no body come between you you just stay with it

And hold on and be strong

And Hold on...

just let me be the one~

mode:: in need of love.

p/s:: tell me something i dont know would u?

hancur hati.

menangis.

terus menangis.

dan menangis.

takat mana lagi nak tahan?

sampai bila?

sabar.

sabar.

sabar.

itu je yang mampu.

sekarang.

biarlah aku membawa diri.

kalau betul aku penting untuk kamu.

kamu tau aku sentiasa ada untuk kamu.

mode:: hancur hati.

p/s:: bertahan selagi mampu. :'(

panda.

newsflash!
i'm a MESS.
panda eyes.
slow information processing.
unstable emotions.
less smile.
refuses everything.
denying.

that's what happen when ur down.
completely unmotivated.
crying all night.
then fell asleep at God knows what tyme.
woke up so sudden n sweating.
just bcoz u thought u were dead.
dats my life now.

stupid belle.
stupid.
stupid.
stupid.
ur just plain stupid.

why cant i trust people?
why am i being so skeptic?
why am i questioning everything?
why did i care at d first place?
how do we know when we can put a hope on someone?

bcoz i've been broken into pieces.
n d glue aint strong enuff.
to keep every piece at its place.
dats y i guess~

one Q.
why did he still say dat i'm beautiful even though it's so obvious i'm such a mess?
need honest answer plz.

need to clear my head off things.
toddles!~

mode:: mess.

p/s:: saya panda gumuks.ada bantahan?