forced.

hey2.
finished my exam.
finished my final semester.
not yet finish my stupid thesis.
aishh~

i lost almost everything on my final semester.
i lost faith.
i lost hope.
i lost my love.
i lost one of my bestie.
i felt like i lost whole of me.

this is painful.
so painful.
y should i lose everything?
y should all this happen?

i hate not talking to d person i love.
i hate seeing em from far.
knowing i'm nothing for em.
but i still do love em.
and i missed em.
so much~

what to do?
MOVE ON.
dats d way belle.
WALK AWAY.

wiping away my tears.
collecting every shattered pieces.
trying hard to even smile again.
finding a way to make new memories.
without d past~

will start a new phase of my life after this.
working?
ouh,god.
bosan ok!

time to say goodbye to all.
to bangi.
to ukm.
to kolej hussein onn.
to fakulti sains sosial kemanusiaan.
to my girls.
(dats d hardest part)

too much memories.
dat wont be d same again after this..

off for pizza

sg. gabai

french class

deviance n crime class

philosophy class

pasar malam time..

moon's birthday~

classmates!

program anak angkat,Johor

festival sanjungan satria 2009

exco faculty

kursus kepimpinan majlis perwakilan pelajar

there's a lot more pics to be uploaded.
later ok?
i'll be missing them so much.

mode:: fallen apart.

p/s:: it's time to say goodbye.

60.

60 THINGS A GIRL/LADY/WOMAN WANTS BUT WONT ASK FOR!!

1. Touch her waist.
2. Actually talk to her.
3. Share secrets with her.
4. Give her 1 of your sweatshirts
5. Kiss her slowly.

Are you remembering this?

6. Hug her.
7. Hold her.
8. Laugh with her.
9. Invite her everywhere.
10. Hangout with her and your friends together.

KEEP READING

11. Smile with her.
12. Take pictures with her.
13. Pull her onto your lap.
14. When she says she loves you more, deny it. Fight back.
15. When her friends say i love her more than you, deny it. fight back and hug her tight so she can't get to her friends. it makes her feel loved.

Are you thinking of someone?

16. Always hug her and say hi whenever you see her.
17. Kiss her unexpectedly.
18. Hug her from behind around the waist.
19. Tell her she's beautiful.
20. Tell her the way you feel about her.

One last thing you need to do to show her you actually do mean it.

21. Open doors for her, walk her to her car (if any)- it makes her feel protected, plus it never hurts to act like a gentleman.
22. Tell her she's your everything - ONLY if you mean it.
23. If it seems like there is something wrong, ask her- if she denies something being wrong, it means SHE DOESN'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT- so just hug her.
24. Make her feel loved.
25. Kiss her in front of OTHER girls you know

WE MIGHT DENY IT BUT WE ACTUALLY LIKE IT AND KINDA WANT YOU TO TICKLE US

26. DON'T lie to her
27. DON'T cheat on her!
28. Take her ANYWHERE she wants
29. Text messege or call her in the morning and tell her have a good day at work {or school}, and how much you MISS her.
30. Be there for her when ever she needs you, & even when she doesn't need you, just be there so she'll know that she can ALWAYS count on you.

ARE YOU STILL READING THIS? YOU BETTER BECAUSE, IT'S IMPORTANT

31. Hold her close when she's cold so she can hold YOU too.
32. When you are ALONE hold her close and kiss her.
33. Kiss her on the CHEEK: (it will give her the hint that you want to kiss her).
34. While in the movies, put your arm around her and then she will automatically put her head on your shoulder, then lean in and tilt her chin up and kiss her LIGHTLY.
35. Dont EVER tell her to leave even jokingly or act like you're mad. If shes upset, comfort her.

REMEMBER ALL THESE THINGS WHEN YOU ARE WITH HER NEXT


36. When people DISS her, stand up for her.
37. Look deep into her EYES and tell her you love her.
38. Lay down under the STARS and put her head on your chest so you can cuddle.
39. When walking next to each other grab her HAND.
40. When you hug her HOLD her in your arms as long as possible

MAKE SURE SHE KNOWS SHES LOVED

41. Call or text her EVERY night to wish her SWEET DREAMS
42. COMFORT her when she cries and wipe away her tears.
43. Take her for LONG walks at night.
44. ALWAYS remind her how much you love her.
45. Sit on top of her and tell her how much u love her and then bend down to her face and kiss her while sitting on her.
46. Rub her back
47. Give her your coat if she's cold
48. Write letters on her back with your finger
49. Let her sit on your lap
50. DON'T poke her hard...but if you want to mess around just do it lightly.
51. HOLD her HAND in PUBLIC.
52. Even if she looks BAD one day tell her she's BEAUTIFUL
53. Keep conversations flowing...talk about anything usually they just go along with it.
54. If their hair is in their face move it out of her face and then kiss her passionatley and gently.
55. Surprisingly sneek up on her and hug her from behind
56. Kiss her in the rain.
57. Pick her up like in The Notebook and kiss her.
58. Slow dance with no music
59. Don't ignore her or be nerveous around her--everything is going to be okay.
60. Love her, kiss her, hold her, and you'll be good to go..




okay.
i like everything bout this.
it really is the TRUTH.
gosh~


mode:: moving-on.


p/s:: kicking some ass is good.whose btw?? ;p

grrr!

okay.
post kali ni extra SG+PL+PA.
sbb aku tak kira.
aku rasa cam nak maki orang!
bukan sebarang orang.
just him alone.

lantak la korang nak ckp mulut aku cam pe ke.
aku geram!
tak penah rasa marah smpai nak maki orang selama ni.
tp die wat aku mencarut2 xingat dunia arini.
arrghhh!!!!

my fren ckp.
"siyes ko ssh nak maki orang,belle."
babe,sorry ko kne dgr ak maki org arini.ak mrh sgt nih!!!

God,i'm sorry.
but he really do pissed me off.
totally over d limit.

Special thanks to someone for all the lies.for d feelings u pretend to have.for d wasted time.for d money spent.I really do love u.but with what u did,let GOD pay 'em for me.I'm done being nice.let karma do her work. *sepak diri sendiri banyak kali sebab bodoh sangat percaya bila orang lain menipu* [so called positive-thinking and optimist.F**K+middle finger all those things!!]

apa perlu wat?
wat baik,orang tipu kita.
wat jahat,kena balik.
hmm~

dahla.
lantak la ko.
asal ko bahagia.
aku tak kesah.

i dun hate u.
i was just so pissed off dat u lied to me.

live ur life like nothing happened.
do wut makes u happy.
God bless.

mode:: pissed off!

p/s:: let KARMA do her work.let GOD decides what happens next.I'm done being nice.

breathe.

okay.
now what happened to u belle?
one day ur ok.
d next day ur not.
should i slap u real hard?
grrr~!

what had happened.
let it be.
u cant fix it.
no matter how much u wanted it to be fixed.
cz d other party wont do d same too.
ok nabilah?

so now.
what happened to my heart?
it felt lke it was squeezed real hard.
god.who's hand was dat?

it's painful!
stop it.
i cant breathe.
just stop~
i beg u!

only my heart can feel the pain.
not my body.
so u can just slap,punch or kick my ass.
but dont break my heart.
plz dont~ :(

it's really hard for me to even sleep at nights nowadays.
sleepy head but not d eyes.

can someone help me through this?
plz take diz pain away.
i can pretend to smile.
but i cant stand d pain i'm feeling inside.

mode:: heart-aches.

p/s:: gimme reasons.reasons to believe all this should happen.

opportunity.

this is how i will bring myself up from what had happened.
from all the misery.
from bad things.
from old people.
to forget what broke my heart n life into pieces.

meeting new people.
do something new & challenging.
challenge myself doing great changes in my imperfect life.
prove to myself i can be great.
much more better than i am now.
thats called self-improving people.

i filled up a form last month for this programme.
not knowing i could even get a chance to be interviewed by the panels.
just a phone call makes me eligible for the programme.
she said she was amazed with what i joined as a university student.
all is worth it huh?
all those sleepless nights,harsh words from college's admin,money spent,time wasted,etc2.
told u nabilah.
all that will pay. :)

okay.
review of the programme.

The IMGLAD model may consists of up to 37 comprehensive exercises and activities. The model teaches and develops the following personal and social skills, attitudes and behaviours that are sought by employers in all sectors:-

• Self Confidence
• Personal Presentation Skills
• Understanding Workplace
• Time Management
• Punctuality & Attendance
• Dependability
• Demonstrating Initiative
• Work Preparation Skills
• Effective Communication
• Demonstrating a Positive Attitude
• Team Working
• Willingness to Learn
• Managing Emotions
• Coping with Challenges
• Personal Goals & Objective Setting
• Ability to Receive Constructive Feedback

nice huh?

i also signed up for AIESEC International Internship last saturday.

pray so that i could get a chance for this too! :)

guess i will bring myself higher after this.

i hope i will not fall down hard on my process being an extraordinary girl like what my mom always wanted.

this is for myself and for my mom.

and for a better life! :)

mode:: bitch-slapped.

p/s:: buck up belle.he doesnt want u.time to change ur heart.(ouh,i cant do that i guess)

mess.

tade mood dah nak update blog ni.
nak cter pe?
hidup univ pn dah nak abes.
pasni susah dah nk jmp kwn2.
yg kat kL sng r nak roger2 kn?
yg jauh2 cmne?
hmm~

parents dah sbuk tny nak keja mana pasni.
tesis ak pun xsiap ag.
keja pe nyer?
huhu

namo keja la.
jiwa masih maw bersukaria.
tak suka wat benda rutin.
pegi keja,balik keja.
tgok org yg sme stiap mse.
bosan~!

hadapi dengan senyuman~

soal hati & perasaan.
malas nak pkir dah.
tak larat ok?
siyes tak larat.
so,jangan tanya aku mcm2.
biar ak wat kesimpulan untk korg.
semuanya dah berakhir.

mereka ckp,
"lupakan jela belle.carik lain.bukan susah pun.brsepah lg laki kt dnia ni."
"ala,petik skali 10 bley datang la bell"
"i kan ada.nape u nak ingat dia lagi?"
"salah ko belle.aku dah cakap awal2 ag kn.ko yg xnk dgr."
"susah2 je ko setia kat dia.bukan dia nampak pun semua tu"
bla,bla,bla..

apakah?
"kalo laki brsepah pn,dah aku xnak,xnak la!"
"kalo u ada pun,wat i rimas wtpe?"
"haa..memang salah aku.maceh la ingatkn ak bnyak kali.w/pun aku dah ckup ingat."
"sebab ak dah penah tipu prasaan orang dlu.n aku dh penah kena.so ak xnak wat dah."
(tapi kena tpu gak kn?so nak jadi baik ke jahat pasni??)

malas la layan korang.
suakti korang nak cakap pe pun.
aku tanggung je.
tadah je pe korang nak cakap pun kat aku.

pegi tgok muvee.
ak xtaw nape orang tgok aku plik.
over-dressed ke?
color shawl tak matching ke?
ke muka aku semak sgt?
adess~
twus bagi statement kt kwn aku,
"arini aku bagi chance org tgok aku plik tnpa aku sound mreka."
duh!~

oke,pndang pelik cepat!

makan pun nak tak nak je skang.
cik abg peneman setia ckp,
"kamu kwus sgt nabilah"
yeke?cm gmuk over jer.
huhuhu

pape je la.
malas aku kisah.
asal aku bernyawa ag.
ak dah ckup brsyukur.

i'll hide my smile~

i have not recovered yet.
there are still unshed tears.
i kept on crying whenever d thoughts of him came through my mind.

mode:: missing heartbeats.

p/s:: tell me something i dont know.

walk through me~

wishes.

hey.
3 papers finished.
which is so damn sucks n fucked up.
damn!~

emotionally disturbed.
mentally abused.
physically numb.
wut happened to me?

i dun talk to others.
i dun look to people around me as i walk in d crowd.
i ignored every staring eyes.
i ignored all d whispered sounds i heard.

are there still chances?
any there any hope?
would it be?
i wish it could all be fixed.

so stupid.
i cant even feel any pain.
when my finger was bleeding yesterday.

why can only my heart feels pain?
not my body?
this is not good ayte? :'(

fix me.
undid all this.
i want to be me again.
plz~

mode:: mixed up feelings.

p/s:: God,this is painful.Make it stop now would u??please...I beg u dear God... :(

"Pourquoi avez-vous fait cela? Me le dire! Pour vous montrer s'occuper de moi? Pourquoi maintenant??"

tears.

decision has been made.
nothing could ever change.
what else?
walk away.
no worries..
i'll hide my tears by walking in d rain..

wish me luck for my exam later.
i have no feelings.
i have no motivation to make me study.

now,there's no reason to smile anymore.
there could only be tears.

i'll stop believing.
i'll stop hoping.
i'll stop smiling.
because that's what makes him happy.

mode:: single.

p/s:: God,whatever that I did to make me receive diz,I accept it.If it's your will~ :'(

exam!

duh~
tak abes study ag.
damn!

asek pning,migrain,saket pwut,nausea.
pe kes?
nak kata mengandung,tak wat pe pun.
nak kata geli tgok sumthng,tak kuar blik pun.
nak kata banyak sgt study,tak jugak.
aishh~

jum la rajen belle.
plz.
plz.
plz.
huhuhu~

SKSS3153-ISU KESELAMATAN NEGARA MALAYSIA (13APR)

• teori  kajian keselamatan (realism,constructivism,critical theories-nontraditional security threats)
• konsep (keselamatan nasional,keselamatan insan,keselamatan masyarakat)
• definisi
• securitization of an issue (Copenhagen School)
• desecuritization

SKSS3163-DASAR LUAR MALAYSIA (15APR)
*punya la banyak list buku (13-15bijik buku) prof swuh baca,ni je tips die bagi.demm!~*

• definisi dasar luar
• konsep2 + prinsip2
• hubungan malaysia dengan negara jiran
• dunia Islam

ZZZT2223-HUBUNGAN INSAN (17APR)
*no idea cz dlm claz,ckgu ske mrepek merapu meraban*

SKSS3103-ALAM SEKITAR & HUBUNGAN ANTARABANGSA (27APR)

• Malaysian & international responses to climate change
• What are the core characteristics of the environment as the policy problem
• What are the main international conferences on climate change (issues & challenges of Kyoto Protocol)
• How can good governance overcome the 10causes of environmental degradation
• What is the relationship between environmental philosophy & political thoughts

note to enchek migrain,

plz go away.

i dun need u!

kerajenan.

eyh,not him.

MOTIVATION.

plz do come.

i need u.

mode:: struggling hard.

p/s:: ku kehilangan punca,arah & tujuan...

possessive.

photoshoot session with newly met photog-Hafiz.

Putrajaya did have a nice view ayte?

hehehe

the rest of d pics have been uploaded into my fb acc.

take a look! :)

fyi.

this is for fun.

i'm not into modelling.

hehehe~

mode:: lazy ass.

p/s:: jealousy makes me hate you.lil miss possessive me.so what?

lost.

basah lencun jogging dlm hujan~

saya ada banyak notes.mana satu nak baca dulu?hmm~

si teddy gumuks menjadi teman saya yang keseorangan dalam bilik ..

i'm lost.
i dont know what to do.
i'm so out of my mind.

seriously,i've no clue what happened to me.
what dragged me out of reality.
what am i thinking.
what is it that i want.
what makes me happy.
what makes me calm.
what makes me worried.

coz i'm so restless.
but i cant do anything.
i cant even focus on my super-damn-a-lot notes.

i'd shut down my mind.
to stop thinking about my surroundings.
but something is dragging me into that.

this things creeps me out.
i can change my mood all of a sudden.
and it happens when i'm texting my baby.
i really am sorry mon cher.
je suis desole~

stupid belle.
enough would u?
gosh!
i hate being paranoid.
this is so not me..
what am i changing into?

okay,i'm outta here.
got to pretend i have d mood to read all those notes.
anybody dear enough to sit besides me and accompany me?
coz i'm all alone here~
huhuhu

mode:: lost.

p/s:: je t'aime mon cher.et je sais que tu m'aimes aussi..bisous~ :)


p/ss:: wants a vampire boyfriend.can i?? ;p

revealed.

I was stained with a row in a day and on my own, 

As you walked into my life,

you showed what needed to be shown, 

And I always knew what was right

I just didnt know that I might peel away,

And choose to see with such indifference sight..

And I will never see the sky the same way,

And I will learn to say good-bye to yesterday,

And I will never cease to fly,

If held down,

And I will always reach too high,

Cause I have seen...

Never cared,

Never wanted,

Never sought to see what flaunted,

So on purpose,

So in my face,

Couldn't see beyond my own place,

And it was so easy,

Now, to behold

What I could hold,

What you showed me,

I could change whatever came,

Within these shallow days...

As the sun shines through,

It pushes away and pushes ahead,

Fills the warmth of blue,

And leaves a chill instead,

And I didn't know that I could be so blind to all that is so real,

As illusion dies,

I see there is so much to be revealed..

mode:: bored.


p/s:: fight for me.i'm done fighting~